Monday, November 2, 2009
Monday, June 8, 2009
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
on loving friendships
Guess conversation is overrated. As if we EVER mean what we say and say what we mean.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
she loves me!
"I HATE YOU!"
"hehe, you are funny"
As sincerity is so unexpected, genuine expressions of cruelty is often accepted with open arms as good humor by the rest of the world.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Monday, September 8, 2008
on colored people
Silly, when red crayons won't show on top of the black ones, YOU CAN"T DRAW LIPS! Thus, despite all efforts, kindergarten drawings will remain racist for the time being. A+ for effort thou.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
on geniuses and their perceptions
Now did M.C. Escher channel mad supernatural visual simulation power? Or perhaps it was just how the world appeared to him?
on the self centered self
we spend our time thinking about what other people are thinking about us...when all they're really thinking about is what we're thinking about them
-Ellen Degeneres
weapon of choice II
Mechanisms behind ticklish-ness remains a mystery to evolutionists and scientists to date.
on Jesus
Dear Jesus,
I wonder if my faith or your spiritual presence strengthens when we place you upon our home decors and dish wares.
on being yourself
adults always contradict themselves. convincing us that we should always be ourselves yet we seem to only be allowed to do that on halloween.
on origamists
i met a professional touring origamist few months back. OH! what glamorous and exciting lifestyle she must have.
i worship the genius that engineered his origami blueprint!
i worship the genius that engineered his origami blueprint!
on one of a kind
hi, i have been looking for this VERY special cloud.
maybe you have seen it?
call 647 388 9102.
Monday, September 1, 2008
toy stories
i remember seeing them beautifuls at value village. then i thought. i need to get them. then i thought. what will i have them for? then i never got them. and now i just think about them.
now, if only kids and ganstas ran around with victorian patterned guns. the world would be a better place. *sigh
now, if only kids and ganstas ran around with victorian patterned guns. the world would be a better place. *sigh
Monday, August 25, 2008
on book keeping
La tête carrée de Sosno
(aka. the coolest library in the world)
Located opposite the European Congress of Psychiatry. books are kept at the upper level of the sculpture IN THE HEAD.
(aka. the coolest library in the world)
Located opposite the European Congress of Psychiatry. books are kept at the upper level of the sculpture IN THE HEAD.
on egg-holders and phenomenons alike
i was this close to purchasing this item online.
then i realized, I don't use egg holders. then i thought... does anybody really? it was concluded that egg-holders were really just another trendy kitchen myth.
then i realized, I don't use egg holders. then i thought... does anybody really? it was concluded that egg-holders were really just another trendy kitchen myth.
you are not alone. cookie binge is therapeutic
COOKIE MONSTER SEARCHES DEEP WITHIN
HIMSELF AND ASKS: IS ME REALLY MONSTER?
BY ANDY F. BRYAN
Me know. Me have problem.
Me love cookies. Me tend to get out of control when me see cookies. Me know it not natural to react so strongly to cookies, but me have weakness. Me know me do wrong. Me know it isn't normal. Me see disapproving looks. Me see stares. Me hurt inside.
When me get back to apartment, after cookie binge, me can't stand looking in mirror—fur matted with chocolate-chip smears and infested with crumbs. Me try but me never able to wash all of them out. Me don't think me is monster. Me just furry blue person who love cookies too much. Me no ask for it. Me just born that way.
Me was thinking and me just don't get it. Why is me a monster? No one else called monster on Sesame Street. Well, no one who isn't really monster. Two-Headed Monster have two heads, so he real monster. Herry Monster strong and look angry, so he probably real monster, too. But is me really monster?
Me thinks me have serious problem. Me thinks me addicted. But since when it acceptable to call addict monster? It affliction. It disease. It burden. But does it make me monster?
How can they be so callous? Me know there something wrong with me, but who in Sesame Street doesn't suffer from mental disease or psychological disorder? They don't call the vampire with math fetish monster, and me pretty sure he undead and drinks blood. No one calls Grover monster, despite frequent delusional episodes and obsessive-compulsive tendencies. And the obnoxious red Grover—oh, what his name?—Elmo! Yes, Elmo live all day in imaginary world and no one call him monster. No, they think he cute. And Big Bird! Don't get me started on Big Bird! He unnaturally gigantic talking canary! How is that not monster? Snuffleupagus not supposed to exist—woolly mammoths extinct. His very existence monstrous. Me least like monster. Me maybe have unhealthy obsession, but me no monster.
No. Me wrong. Me too hard on self. Me no have unhealthy obsession. Me love cookies, but it no hurt anyone. Me just enthusiast. Everyone has something they like most, something they get excited about. Why not me? Me perfectly normal. Me like cookies. So what? Cookies delicious. Cookies do not make one monster. Everyone loves cookies.
Me no monster. Me OK guy. Me OK guy who eat cookies.
Who me kidding? Me know me never actually eat cookies. Me only crumble cookies in mouth, but me no swallow. Me can't swallow. Me no have no esophagus. Me no have no trachea. Me only have black fabric throat. Me not supposed to be able to even talk.
Me no eat cookies.
Me destroy cookies.
Me crush cookies.
Me mutilate cookies.
Me make it so no one get cookies.
Everyone right. Me really is cookie monster.
HIMSELF AND ASKS: IS ME REALLY MONSTER?
BY ANDY F. BRYAN
Me know. Me have problem.
Me love cookies. Me tend to get out of control when me see cookies. Me know it not natural to react so strongly to cookies, but me have weakness. Me know me do wrong. Me know it isn't normal. Me see disapproving looks. Me see stares. Me hurt inside.
When me get back to apartment, after cookie binge, me can't stand looking in mirror—fur matted with chocolate-chip smears and infested with crumbs. Me try but me never able to wash all of them out. Me don't think me is monster. Me just furry blue person who love cookies too much. Me no ask for it. Me just born that way.
Me was thinking and me just don't get it. Why is me a monster? No one else called monster on Sesame Street. Well, no one who isn't really monster. Two-Headed Monster have two heads, so he real monster. Herry Monster strong and look angry, so he probably real monster, too. But is me really monster?
Me thinks me have serious problem. Me thinks me addicted. But since when it acceptable to call addict monster? It affliction. It disease. It burden. But does it make me monster?
How can they be so callous? Me know there something wrong with me, but who in Sesame Street doesn't suffer from mental disease or psychological disorder? They don't call the vampire with math fetish monster, and me pretty sure he undead and drinks blood. No one calls Grover monster, despite frequent delusional episodes and obsessive-compulsive tendencies. And the obnoxious red Grover—oh, what his name?—Elmo! Yes, Elmo live all day in imaginary world and no one call him monster. No, they think he cute. And Big Bird! Don't get me started on Big Bird! He unnaturally gigantic talking canary! How is that not monster? Snuffleupagus not supposed to exist—woolly mammoths extinct. His very existence monstrous. Me least like monster. Me maybe have unhealthy obsession, but me no monster.
No. Me wrong. Me too hard on self. Me no have unhealthy obsession. Me love cookies, but it no hurt anyone. Me just enthusiast. Everyone has something they like most, something they get excited about. Why not me? Me perfectly normal. Me like cookies. So what? Cookies delicious. Cookies do not make one monster. Everyone loves cookies.
Me no monster. Me OK guy. Me OK guy who eat cookies.
Who me kidding? Me know me never actually eat cookies. Me only crumble cookies in mouth, but me no swallow. Me can't swallow. Me no have no esophagus. Me no have no trachea. Me only have black fabric throat. Me not supposed to be able to even talk.
Me no eat cookies.
Me destroy cookies.
Me crush cookies.
Me mutilate cookies.
Me make it so no one get cookies.
Everyone right. Me really is cookie monster.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
Thursday, July 24, 2008
the velocity of banana juice
the secret is out. banana juice extraction technology is soon to hit toronto.
can't wait!
on pinned dreams
some people have photos of dream vacation destinations pinned to their walls. I have this.
a clean room.
a clean room.
on fame
at one point, i must have thought ...
"Connie, you are a star". why else did i autograph all my photos?
"Connie, you are a star". why else did i autograph all my photos?
bithday (1990) and i didn't even speak english
but i guess they foreseen the fact that i was a budding intellectual.
on decision makings
"if you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor" -bishop tutu.
all i want for christmas is you
touch sensitive, wireless, slim ... scanner-printer all in one.
ML 1630 i think i am in love with you. *blushes
ML 1630 i think i am in love with you. *blushes
for the sake of the environment
divorce
= double consumption of resources (land, water, energy)
= +++ ecological footprint
= BAD for the environment
on kind strangers
Tonight I waited out front for the bus in the cold.
A strange boy walked up and stood by me. He started speaking about the "poetry in snow" .
strange boy:
when everything is covered with a blanket of white snow" its just really poetic you know.
me:
yeah its pretty nice up till its slushy
strange boy:
[chuckles] I just can't wait to just get home you know...
me:
[polite chuckle]
strange boy:
oh i just bought myself this steamy hot chocolate, would you like some?
me:
[polite chuckle] oh no thankyou.
strange boy:
are you sure? [sips]
its good!
me:
[nod]
....
10 minutes later
strange boy:
are you sure? [sips]
it really is good!
me:
[smile]
[I fled as soon the bus came]
when strangers speak of the poetry in snow and offers you hot chocolate, I image it being very endearing... but it wasn't....
why do people flee from kind strangers?
*shrugs
A strange boy walked up and stood by me. He started speaking about the "poetry in snow" .
strange boy:
when everything is covered with a blanket of white snow" its just really poetic you know.
me:
yeah its pretty nice up till its slushy
strange boy:
[chuckles] I just can't wait to just get home you know...
me:
[polite chuckle]
strange boy:
oh i just bought myself this steamy hot chocolate, would you like some?
me:
[polite chuckle] oh no thankyou.
strange boy:
are you sure? [sips]
its good!
me:
[nod]
....
10 minutes later
strange boy:
are you sure? [sips]
it really is good!
me:
[smile]
[I fled as soon the bus came]
when strangers speak of the poetry in snow and offers you hot chocolate, I image it being very endearing... but it wasn't....
why do people flee from kind strangers?
*shrugs
on Immigration part II
Today I went to have a poutine, one of my top favorite things to do in life. So there I was at New York Fries.
While I paid, I had a brief conversation with the cashier man-
man: which grade are you in?
me: hehe, I am in university
man: which year?
me: my last
man:what do you study?
me:design
man:well I too studied design! I was a nuclear engineer.
(he walked away)
...i think poutines have officially become sad.
pass times
I spoke to my 6 year old cousin about the magic of Lego. I showed off my lego pirate man with lego crossbone flag. she looked puzzled.
on destiny
As I type away on my aluminum mac book. A flash of parallel
relationships stuck me.
I, a chinese from regions of china, here in toronto using a product (mac) who's manufacture dispose computers like the one I am typing on into the waters of Guiyu, China.
Them, also chinese and living in regions of china, Guiyu, also next to products like the (mac).
long story short -
a) Apple you connect us from across the globe!
b) Why am "I"- me, and "they" - them?
*shrug
mac book pro
when everyone has a pro, how can you kick it up another notch?
24-carat gold Macbook Pro modification with diamonds now available
24-carat gold Macbook Pro modification with diamonds now available
math and coffee
on average, per coffee is 1.2$.
if you decide to to go caffeine free (zero coffee) you earn a new income of 436.8$/ year.
with 436.8$ annual earnings and assuming I live another 20 years.
I would only earn up to approx 8000$ for this caffeine-free lifestyle.
considering a year of tuition is only 7 grand, and 8 grand is only a ted
over this amount. if money ever becomes a problem, I say- cut a year of school and indulge in a lifetime pleasure of caffeine.
the end.
if you decide to to go caffeine free (zero coffee) you earn a new income of 436.8$/ year.
with 436.8$ annual earnings and assuming I live another 20 years.
I would only earn up to approx 8000$ for this caffeine-free lifestyle.
considering a year of tuition is only 7 grand, and 8 grand is only a ted
over this amount. if money ever becomes a problem, I say- cut a year of school and indulge in a lifetime pleasure of caffeine.
the end.
on immigration
growing up with humidity and heat- I always thought I was in love with snow and frequently romanticized the moment I would have intimate contact with it. Until I was 8, I finally saw snow for the first time, I licked it and I didn't like it- but i was already in canada.
goodbyes are sad
exactly 3 years and 340 days ago. my beloved, "Creativity" died. you will be missed.
*tear.
*tear.
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