uneconnie humour

On Patience

2011-05-06T21:31:00.000-07:00

Good things come to those who wait.

On Surfaces

2011-03-11T01:13:00.000-08:00

Surface is the ONLY knowable truth.

On Memorial Sculptures

2011-02-23T20:04:00.000-08:00

R.I.P VHS.

Love always,
Connie

On Faking It

2011-01-21T08:23:00.000-08:00

Pretense, a universal survival mechanism in modern civilization.

Dear Anna Wintour:

2010-10-30T07:40:00.000-07:00

somewhere over the rainbow

2010-04-21T15:17:00.000-07:00

on the writer's block

2010-04-04T21:51:00.000-07:00

In homeopathy, the fundamental healing principle is governed by "laws of similarity" where "like cures like".

Perchance my writer's block will work it's healing magic!

reality at 1000fps

2010-03-25T15:41:00.000-07:00

average adult human vision is at 30fps. gee, so much of juicy reality escapes us.

on choices

2010-03-24T13:56:00.000-07:00

chose your own adventures, my favorite!!

the hair police

2010-03-23T15:04:00.000-07:00

the young futurist

2010-03-22T22:43:00.001-07:00

no doubt we were all once optimistic little futurists growing up. somewhere along the way it became less so about smart robots that cooked breakfast or gliding through spaces in transporters and playing chess with green aliens... these days you just cross your fingers and hope the universe doesn't collapse on it's own or explode in the next 2 hours.

on domestication

2010-03-21T08:33:00.000-07:00

Hens lay eggs, cows squirt milk but DOGS- they just exploit and exhaust our resources in exchange for nothing other than a few good laughs. And we willingly let them.

"jokes on you, humans!" said dog.

the emotional switch

2010-03-19T23:36:00.000-07:00

on bffs

2010-01-03T00:27:00.000-08:00

CBC ran a story on the sea otters that held hands a while back... perhaps public display of affection is not unique to humans after all.

Gee, who knows what secret hand holding action goes on when we're not watching.

Santa Clause is coming to town

2009-12-25T16:32:00.000-08:00

Santa Clause is coming to town always did sound rather like a threat...

If an obese stranger broke into your home in the middle of the night... instead of offering him cookies, you should call the cops ASAP

on covers

2009-12-08T21:30:00.000-08:00

denture and cockroaches... by the looks of it James is likely to be a grumpy fella dealing a game of bridge at the retirement home.

But as if we ever judge books by their cover anyways.

you are missed

2009-11-02T20:27:00.000-08:00

on reading faces

2009-06-08T22:23:00.000-07:00

Optimistic or in denial? ...story of my life.

on loving friendships

2009-06-03T21:04:00.000-07:00

Guess conversation is overrated. As if we EVER mean what we say and say what we mean.

she loves me!

2008-09-30T13:11:00.000-07:00

"I HATE YOU!"
"hehe, you are funny"

As sincerity is so unexpected, genuine expressions of cruelty is often accepted with open arms as good humor by the rest of the world.

on time and being

2008-09-16T06:59:00.000-07:00

yeah, i never quite understood the concept of time either.

on colored people

2008-09-08T18:00:00.000-07:00

Silly, when red crayons won't show on top of the black ones, YOU CAN"T DRAW LIPS! Thus, despite all efforts, kindergarten drawings will remain racist for the time being. A+ for effort thou.

public display of affection

2008-09-02T00:29:00.001-07:00

on geniuses and their perceptions

2008-09-02T00:28:00.001-07:00

Now did M.C. Escher channel mad supernatural visual simulation power? Or perhaps it was just how the world appeared to him?

on fuzzy wuzzies

2008-09-02T00:27:00.001-07:00

well... I mean they did went for Big Bird, didn't they?

on the self centered self

2008-09-02T00:25:00.000-07:00

we spend our time thinking about what other people are thinking about us...when all they're really thinking about is what we're thinking about them

-Ellen Degeneres

on growing up

2008-09-02T00:24:00.001-07:00

weapon of choice II

2008-09-02T00:23:00.000-07:00

Mechanisms behind ticklish-ness remains a mystery to evolutionists and scientists to date.

on Jesus

2008-09-02T00:21:00.002-07:00

Dear Jesus,

I wonder if my faith or your spiritual presence strengthens when we place you upon our home decors and dish wares.

on consumption aftertaste

2008-09-02T00:19:00.000-07:00

hmmm... sour.

celebrity crush

2008-09-02T00:18:00.000-07:00

on being yourself

2008-09-02T00:16:00.000-07:00

adults always contradict themselves. convincing us that we should always be ourselves yet we seem to only be allowed to do that on halloween.

on origamists

2008-09-02T00:14:00.002-07:00

i met a professional touring origamist few months back. OH! what glamorous and exciting lifestyle she must have.

i worship the genius that engineered his origami blueprint!

on celebrations

2008-09-02T00:14:00.001-07:00

on home security

2008-09-02T00:13:00.001-07:00

weapon of choice

2008-09-02T00:12:00.001-07:00

on faded celebs II

2008-09-02T00:09:00.000-07:00

on weight watchers

2008-09-02T00:08:00.000-07:00

on marc jacobs

2008-09-02T00:07:00.000-07:00

Dear Marc, you need a jr. line, cause we need cute voyeur photos.

on eggs

2008-09-02T00:06:00.000-07:00

i personally prefer scramble.

on one of a kind

2008-09-02T00:05:00.000-07:00

hi, i have been looking for this VERY special cloud.
maybe you have seen it?

call 647 388 9102.

on david touring the US

2008-09-02T00:03:00.001-07:00

on road rage

2008-09-02T00:01:00.000-07:00

perhaps happy cars will reduce road rage?

toy stories

2008-09-01T23:59:00.002-07:00

i remember seeing them beautifuls at value village. then i thought. i need to get them. then i thought. what will i have them for? then i never got them. and now i just think about them.

now, if only kids and ganstas ran around with victorian patterned guns. the world would be a better place. *sigh

why did the chicken cross the beach?

2008-09-01T23:57:00.000-07:00

happy couples

2008-09-01T23:56:00.001-07:00

on body art

2008-08-25T20:41:00.001-07:00

on religion

2008-08-25T20:34:00.000-07:00

for the love of jesus, spell his name right.

so...

2008-08-25T20:32:00.000-07:00

what's your plan for the future?

on book keeping

2008-08-25T20:30:00.000-07:00

La tête carrée de Sosno
(aka. the coolest library in the world)

Located opposite the European Congress of Psychiatry. books are kept at the upper level of the sculpture IN THE HEAD.

on egg-holders and phenomenons alike

2008-08-25T20:27:00.000-07:00

i was this close to purchasing this item online.

then i realized, I don't use egg holders. then i thought... does anybody really? it was concluded that egg-holders were really just another trendy kitchen myth.

berenstain bears, LIVE

2008-08-25T20:26:00.003-07:00

on information design

2008-08-25T20:25:00.000-07:00

you are not alone. cookie binge is therapeutic

2008-08-25T20:21:00.000-07:00

COOKIE MONSTER SEARCHES DEEP WITHIN
HIMSELF AND ASKS: IS ME REALLY MONSTER?

BY ANDY F. BRYAN

Me know. Me have problem.

Me love cookies. Me tend to get out of control when me see cookies. Me know it not natural to react so strongly to cookies, but me have weakness. Me know me do wrong. Me know it isn't normal. Me see disapproving looks. Me see stares. Me hurt inside.

When me get back to apartment, after cookie binge, me can't stand looking in mirror—fur matted with chocolate-chip smears and infested with crumbs. Me try but me never able to wash all of them out. Me don't think me is monster. Me just furry blue person who love cookies too much. Me no ask for it. Me just born that way.

Me was thinking and me just don't get it. Why is me a monster? No one else called monster on Sesame Street. Well, no one who isn't really monster. Two-Headed Monster have two heads, so he real monster. Herry Monster strong and look angry, so he probably real monster, too. But is me really monster?

Me thinks me have serious problem. Me thinks me addicted. But since when it acceptable to call addict monster? It affliction. It disease. It burden. But does it make me monster?

How can they be so callous? Me know there something wrong with me, but who in Sesame Street doesn't suffer from mental disease or psychological disorder? They don't call the vampire with math fetish monster, and me pretty sure he undead and drinks blood. No one calls Grover monster, despite frequent delusional episodes and obsessive-compulsive tendencies. And the obnoxious red Grover—oh, what his name?—Elmo! Yes, Elmo live all day in imaginary world and no one call him monster. No, they think he cute. And Big Bird! Don't get me started on Big Bird! He unnaturally gigantic talking canary! How is that not monster? Snuffleupagus not supposed to exist—woolly mammoths extinct. His very existence monstrous. Me least like monster. Me maybe have unhealthy obsession, but me no monster.

No. Me wrong. Me too hard on self. Me no have unhealthy obsession. Me love cookies, but it no hurt anyone. Me just enthusiast. Everyone has something they like most, something they get excited about. Why not me? Me perfectly normal. Me like cookies. So what? Cookies delicious. Cookies do not make one monster. Everyone loves cookies.

Me no monster. Me OK guy. Me OK guy who eat cookies.

Who me kidding? Me know me never actually eat cookies. Me only crumble cookies in mouth, but me no swallow. Me can't swallow. Me no have no esophagus. Me no have no trachea. Me only have black fabric throat. Me not supposed to be able to even talk.

Me no eat cookies.

Me destroy cookies.

Me crush cookies.

Me mutilate cookies.

Me make it so no one get cookies.

Everyone right. Me really is cookie monster.

over the rainbow

2008-08-25T20:20:00.001-07:00

on duties

2008-08-10T22:47:00.000-07:00

girl POWER!

2008-08-10T22:45:00.000-07:00

trend spotting

2008-08-10T22:42:00.000-07:00

the new chiwawa.

the night is young

2008-08-10T22:41:00.001-07:00

On twisted thoughts

2008-07-25T00:29:00.000-07:00

T'as du gout

2008-07-25T00:27:00.000-07:00

the sun is out. i am graduating. *sigh.

personalized message to UPS guy

2008-07-24T19:10:00.000-07:00

the velocity of banana juice

2008-07-24T19:09:00.001-07:00

the secret is out. banana juice extraction technology is soon to hit toronto.

can't wait!

beach TIME!

2008-07-24T19:07:00.000-07:00

if tees

2008-07-24T19:06:00.001-07:00

on Pumpkin Carving

2008-07-24T19:04:00.000-07:00

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woh. this is far scarier than any witch or jack-os...
nice touch on the seeds.

on faded celebs

2008-07-24T19:02:00.000-07:00

flooding oxytocin

2008-07-24T19:01:00.001-07:00

on fame II

2008-07-24T18:58:00.000-07:00

maximum minimalism

2008-07-24T14:35:00.001-07:00

hell's grannies

2008-07-24T14:33:00.000-07:00

on antiques

2008-07-24T14:32:00.001-07:00

on disney

2008-07-24T14:31:00.000-07:00

on life

2008-07-24T14:30:00.001-07:00

on love

2008-07-24T14:28:00.000-07:00

just because you hate me, doesn't mean i can't like you.

i miss nice people

2008-07-24T14:27:00.000-07:00

my motivated alternative ego

2008-07-24T14:23:00.001-07:00

the intellectuals

2008-07-24T14:21:00.001-07:00

"ARG. connie you're so stupid. god."

"hehe yeah, itsn't it kinda great?"

sum of my future

2008-07-24T14:16:00.001-07:00

on pinned dreams

2008-07-24T14:15:00.001-07:00

some people have photos of dream vacation destinations pinned to their walls. I have this.

a clean room.

yum

2008-07-24T14:14:00.001-07:00

on clouds

2008-07-24T14:13:00.001-07:00

on fame

2008-07-24T14:12:00.002-07:00

at one point, i must have thought ...
"Connie, you are a star". why else did i autograph all my photos?

i spy

2008-07-24T14:11:00.004-07:00

china you are fine

2008-07-24T14:11:00.003-07:00

yay! civilization

2008-07-24T14:10:00.001-07:00

bithday (1990) and i didn't even speak english

2008-07-24T14:07:00.000-07:00

but i guess they foreseen the fact that i was a budding intellectual.

on nature

2008-07-24T14:05:00.000-07:00

greetings

2008-07-24T14:04:00.001-07:00

modes of transportation

2008-07-24T14:03:00.002-07:00

the sum of christmas

2008-07-24T14:03:00.001-07:00

the swedish language is so romantic

2008-07-24T14:01:00.002-07:00

on decision makings

2008-07-24T14:01:00.001-07:00

"if you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor" -bishop tutu.

all i want for christmas is you

2008-07-24T14:00:00.001-07:00

touch sensitive, wireless, slim ... scanner-printer all in one.
ML 1630 i think i am in love with you. *blushes

vacation destination suggestions

2008-07-24T13:58:00.000-07:00

for the sake of the environment

2008-07-24T13:56:00.002-07:00

divorce
= double consumption of resources (land, water, energy)
= +++ ecological footprint
= BAD for the environment

finding the Pollock in you

2008-07-24T13:55:00.000-07:00

http://www.jacksonpollock.org/

*click mouse to alter colors.

on kind strangers

2008-07-24T13:49:00.000-07:00

Tonight I waited out front for the bus in the cold.
A strange boy walked up and stood by me. He started speaking about the "poetry in snow" .

strange boy:
when everything is covered with a blanket of white snow" its just really poetic you know.

me:
yeah its pretty nice up till its slushy

strange boy:
[chuckles] I just can't wait to just get home you know...

me:
[polite chuckle]

strange boy:
oh i just bought myself this steamy hot chocolate, would you like some?

me:
[polite chuckle] oh no thankyou.

strange boy:
are you sure? [sips]
its good!

me:
[nod]

....
10 minutes later

strange boy:
are you sure? [sips]
it really is good!

me:
[smile]
[I fled as soon the bus came]

when strangers speak of the poetry in snow and offers you hot chocolate, I image it being very endearing... but it wasn't....
why do people flee from kind strangers?

*shrugs

on Immigration part II

2008-07-24T13:46:00.000-07:00

Today I went to have a poutine, one of my top favorite things to do in life. So there I was at New York Fries.

While I paid, I had a brief conversation with the cashier man-

man: which grade are you in?
me: hehe, I am in university
man: which year?
me: my last
man:what do you study?
me:design
man:well I too studied design! I was a nuclear engineer.

(he walked away)

...i think poutines have officially become sad.

pass times

2008-07-24T13:41:00.000-07:00

I spoke to my 6 year old cousin about the magic of Lego. I showed off my lego pirate man with lego crossbone flag. she looked puzzled.